Do you ever have those moments where you feel transported backwards in time, to a younger, more foolish and less experienced version of yourself?
I don’t often have such moments, but when I do, I instinctively try to morph my body into the chair beneath me. And let’s be honest for a second – I’m no shape-shifter. So I end up sitting there, momentarily paralyzed by an embarrassing memory.
The other night I went for a Martini with a friend after work. I was glad to be off of work. I was tired of making small talk and of laughing at awkward comments that weren’t funny.
“If my son were here, he’d be up one side of you, and down the other. Ha ha ha…” *ahem* Thank you..?
“I’ll take you home with me so that you can continue to feel useful, whaddya say?” *long pause, blank stare*
The thought of being able to just be–to have a drink and just be–sent tingles up my spine. Upon entering the restaurant, however, I instantly recognized the server. He was someone I had known years ago, when I was quite different.
I’m quite sure that I froze for a second or two as he walked towards us. My brain was flooded with memories and I felt transported back in time.
It took me a few minutes, but eventually I came to terms with the situation. All I could do was just be myself and hope that the good in me now would be enough to silence the echoes of the past.
Minutes ago I was watching Into the Wild, a true story starring Emille Hirsch as Alexander Supertramp. It’s a movie about a college educated young man who chooses to give up his materialistic life in order to truly live. After donating all of his savings to charity, he wanders across the United States, ventures down to Mexico, and eventually ends up in Alaska. He meets various characters along the way who enrich his life with their perspectives and experiences.
My favorite line in the film was this: “I think good gets better.” This line cut me deep. It was so beautiful. So poetic. So true.
Good does get better. Life gets better. We learn, and we get better.
I won’t ever get to go back and re-write the foolishness out of my own script. But good gets better. And thankfully, I get to write a new script. A better one.