Teenage years are like exclusive clubs.
Most of the time you’re not let in.
You watch from the sidelines as someone else – someone prettier or sportier or smarter than you – walks through the invisible doors to the join the rest of the people that you wish you were like.
Pain, you push it back.
Loneliness, you ignore.
But shame, shame you wear like a cloak.
Shame comforts you. You know it well. It’s what keeps you from entering into the exclusive clubs, or starting your own.
Shame holds together all of the lies that you’ve believed. Shame binds your insecurities with un-truths, and shame slowly suffocates you. Till you’re breathing half-breaths. Living a half-life.
What if you stopped believing the lies? What if you gave up your shame cloak and embraced your insecurities? What if you could understand that life itself is often an exclusive club?
I imagine then, if you could do that, that you’d be happy on the “outside.” That you’d experience the joy that comes from knowing yourself. That you’d understand that shame is like a mold growing inside the jam jar in your fridge – once you find it, all you need to do is let it go.
Good-bye moldy jam jar.
I’m better now without you.
I’m happy now.